Whod you bang
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Less talking, more tequila
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
