he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
