who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
