So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
just tell him i said nine months
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
