So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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