Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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