the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
