So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize