Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
