She is in my trunk
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
What a dumb baby whore.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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