So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
wow bdsm is so cute
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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