My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
A bitchslap is in order.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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