that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
