I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize