you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
