I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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