i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm experimenting with sincerity
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
