we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize