turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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