He uses pillows to masturbate.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize