if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
