I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize