I like to think it a success when the cops are called
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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