just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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