I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Barsexuality is the new black.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
