whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
