lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
