I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
