can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
