Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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