CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
