so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
