I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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