Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
