I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
