im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
