How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Randomize
