I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize