We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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