wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
