When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
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