It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
