I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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