I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
