I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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