just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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