Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
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I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
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Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
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