But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I want a musical about memes.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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