I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
