At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
