Heybabeimwearingurpanties
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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