she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 2 1 whiskey
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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