omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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