is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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