i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
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